To Do or Not Do

Years ago I was always late.  For people who know me now, they would be shocked by this.  I am always early now.  Part of this has to do with the fact that I have lived in city where it took 20 minutes to go 3 miles and 3 hours to go 25 miles.  I have learned to add time into my departure time.  In cities that don’t have that kind of traffic I am super early!

What happened that made me more timely in life?  I was told one day that I was being rude to others by showing up late.  Wow!  That shocked me.  I did not want other people to think I was being rude.

Just that one little statement caused me to think that my being late was affecting others.  How did I affect others?  By being late, I was showing that the time I agreed upon to meet another person was negotiable.  But I had not informed the other person of that fact.

Being late to class was affecting others?  How so?  Well, I was walking in after the class started causing others to be distracted.

Yes, I was being rude!  Just that one statement changed my whole life.  I immediately changed and so other things changed.

My word became the most important thing in my life.  I learned that I could impact others by not following through on what I said I was going to do.

Do you do what you say you are going to do?  Or do you hedge your bets that no one will remember that you committed to do something, to show up at a certain time, or to follow through on your commitment?

In the scheme of things, you can probably get away with it today.  But, is that what you want?

How do you feel about yourself when you constantly don’t show up for your commitments?  Can you be integrous in other areas of your life if you don’t respect yourself?  It will be a tough road.  A constant internal battle.

Respecting yourself depends on living in reality and facing the music about yourself and your flaws.  If you tell others that your highest value is honesty and then your word becomes less valuable because it can’t be trusted, will you beat yourself up in self-talk?


How can you overcome being less than honest with yourself or with others?

First step is to become aware that you are doing it.  Become aware of how it is making you feel.  Become aware of what meaning you give it.  Also good to discover whether you are operating out of fear, duty, achievement or integrity.

Awareness allows us the option to act or react. If you react, you may say something like this to yourself, “I’m so stupid (bad, mean, rude or others you may pick) and that’s just the way I am.” Do you think that is helpful or hurtful?  Does it help you change your behavior?  My guess would be NO.

Awareness can help you change to say, “Whoops, I did it again.  This time I realize I did it and I can focus on how I might do it differently next time.”

Can you see the difference?

Make a decision, decide you want to change.  Decide that this is not the life you want.  Be more

honest with yourself first.  If you are not, it is difficult to be honest with others.

And the next time you offer to do something with someone or for someone, will you do or not do?  You decide!

Here’s to a sane work week!


P.S. My class was a hit so I will be offering it again soon.  Stay tuned if you didn’t get a chance to enroll!  Other classes with be coming as well!!


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